Aradhana's Story

Dear Friends, my friend Aradhana shared her story with me recently, and I liked it so much, I asked her permission to share it with you. Here it is:

My husband is very strict, following Srila Prabhupada in every aspect. But he was not like that when we first met. We were both so young. He was just eighteen years old. He had a lot of girl admirers in high school. He was charismatic, handsome, intelligent, a musician and a lot of girls were trying to "charm him."  I came from a very difficult family and a heavy childhood. In my mind I was only searching for God. I wanted God to help me because I was suffering like anything. No boys were in my mind although I was fifteen. Puberty for most of the girls was strong and the wish of having boyfriends was unstoppable. My husband at that time was already different from other boys, as he was vegetarian, had met devotees, and had started to read some of Srila Prabhupada's books. So he was not a typical boy falling on every girl. Somehow when I came to high school, very soon he noticed me (which I thought was strange, because I was very simple, tiny, shy and not in search of a boyfriend, but rather, searching for God). Once he just approached me and asked me a question. I was quite rude as I didn't want to be bothered with boys, but he just gave me a smile and left. I noticed that while the other kids were drinking beer and smoking, he was drinking milk and was not smoking. Hmmm that was interesting... Next time he was near he again tried to talk. This time, I didn't feel like running away. I stayed for a few seconds and we exchanged a few words. Soon he started to preach to me. I was so happy to hear about God! Finally! He will be a priest for sure, I thought, so no worries! I am so young and he is older and he is always around girls his age. I was wrong. After being friends for quite a while, he once held my hand and I felt so safe. I saw him as a father, a brother, a friend, a husband. He was a perfect gentleman and he never did anything inappropriate. After he finished his last year, he was called to the army. War was going on in Croatia so he had to go to war. I was broken. The thought of losing my everything was devastating. Many things happened during that time, but the whole time he was gone, he wrote me one letter a day. And I was waiting for him faithfully. Every girl was laughing at me, saying I was crazy, trying to fix me up with some other boy, but I didn't care for any of them. I was just praying to Krishna to save my dear friend. I started to chant. One day his family went to visit him and I was invited to come with them. I was so happy. When I saw him, I almost fainted, that's how happy I was. He gave me a letter he had written for me that day. On the way back, we got in a heavy car accident and I was thrown through the windshield. My neck was broken and the doctors said I didn't have any chance to survive. So they put me in a room where people are waiting to die. That was hard but my faith was enormous. I was praying to Krishna. I was not afraid. To make a long long story short, I survived and I recovered. I had many realizations there, so close to death. My husband came back and after a while we got married. Soon I started to think that in some things I was even better than him, but by Krishna's mercy I understood that if I point out his mistakes he will be very unhappy and actually will be ruined. I corrected that and start to praise him instead. He grew in front of my eyes every day. He became, in my opinion, a perfect devotee who will take me with him, back home to Godhead. But the most important good habit I learned was this: when he turns and looks at me, he can see that I am his number one fan always. I am always praising him, NEVER talking bad about him and he feels that. He never needs to talk or impress other Matajis because he doesn't feel that he's missing that attention at home. When he makes a joke, I laugh. When he preaches, I don't even blink. That's how hard I listen. When he sings, I am smiling and giving him my full support. I have tried to say this to Matajis over the years, “Please be your husband's number one fan and he will actually have the desire to grow in every aspect and show you that he is worthy of your admiration. You will make him happy and peaceful and he won't have the need to run around looking for attention. Also give him his personal space, when he is reading, doing something else that he likes, don't call him and tell him that he needs to do this or that. It can wait for an hour! Be friends, have respect and you will grow together and your children will feel this special connection and they will grow in a healthy, happy, Krishna Conscious family.” We are missing this today. Many devotees fight a lot and children are suffering and carrying this burden. We as women can help our husbands in every aspect but it takes will, dedication and patience. But it's worth it. I wish you all the best of luck in being the best wives you can be for your husbands. I am far from being the best at anything, but as a wife, I am trying and failing, trying and failing. Hopefully one day I will learn. Hare Krishna!