Thursday, March 17, 2011

Baby Bride


           “It is a woman's nature to want to
                                  decorate herself with ornaments and nice dresses...”
                                                                                              -- S.B. 4.3.9. Purport

One spring day on South Dexter Street I told my mother that I wanted to get married. At that time I was almost three and a half years old, and completely serious about finding my husband. She smiled with amusement at my impatience.

Mom knew I liked to dress up like a bride. I asked her to assist me by fixing my hair. She combed it back into a high ponytail, then twisted it into a little bun. It hurt when she pulled my hair like that, but I liked the neat, grown-up look of that hair-do.

After arranging my hair she explained that she needed to return to her homemaking affairs, so I was left alone in my borrowed boudoir to finish the task of dressing and decorating myself. I’m sure she guessed that I would probably be rifling through her deep, yummy-smelling, reddish-brown cedar chest for lacy, white camisoles and slips, but for some reason she did not protest. I am still grateful that she didn't.

I loved opening Mom’s cedar chest. It was shiny, dark reddish-brown on the outside with a smooth, curved lid. The inside of the chest was a thrill of deliciously aromatic, raw cedar wood. Everything inside smelled spicey-good. I dug through Mom’s neatly folded treasures, unearthing elegant, lacy things. I rigged up bridal dresses and veils from whatever I could find among the copious contents of that fragrant treasure-trove.

I must have understood to some small degree the truth of the statement, “A girl becomes beautiful by putting ornaments on her body,” (Bhag 3.22.18, Purport) because I tried to enhance my bridal beauty by donning as much of Mom’s jewelry as possible. In her jewelry box and dresser-drawers I found both precious and costume jewelry with which to bedeck myself. Her mascara and smelly-good lipstick helped me to look more grown up, I thought. Then for the final touch: just the right shoes from her closet to complete my bridal attire. I clumped outside in her favorite kelly-green pumps (green? why not?) to gather dandelions and morning glories for my bridal bouquet. Through it all, my Mom was patient and understanding and smiled from the kitchen window as she allowed me to make-believe to my heart’s content.

When my own elaborate toilette was complete, I gathered the other small neighborhood girls and dressed them up. Then we all paraded down South Dexter Street (which was at that time just a dirt road) to show off our bridal attire. We thought we were stunningly gorgeous. I secretly hoped that my prince charming would just happen onto the scene, notice me among all the other young maidens, catch me up on his beautiful white horse and steal me away to some far-off castle, making me his beloved princess.

Srila Prabhupada understood this desire in a young girl's heart. “When a husbandless woman is attacked* by an aggressive man, she takes his action to be mercy. A woman is generally very much attracted by a man's long arms. A serpent's body is round, and it becomes narrower and thinner at the end. The beautiful arms of a man appear to a woman just like serpents, and she very much desires to be embraced by such arms.” (SB 4.25.42, Ppt) I could not explain to my father and mother that I needed to know who my husband was, so that my mind could become fixed on him and him alone. Even if I could explain it, would they have believed me? How lamentable it is that fathers and mothers no longer understand this need in their young daughters' hearts!






*Note: In this quote, one must understand that Srila Prabhupada used the word “attacked” to mean wooed, rescued, overpowered, even raped in a way that is exciting and pleasing to the woman. It is not that Srila Prabhupada didn't understand the meaning of the word he used, as proffered by some readers. As usual, he knew very well what he was talking about. He also used the word “aggressive” in the same sentence to indicate a type of boldness or forwardness which is attractive and pleasing to a woman. If the man refrains from being hurtful, harmful, or displeasing in any way, masculine aggressiveness can be very exciting for a woman.




To read more about this topic, see:

http://www.oneiskcon.com/2012/09/rape-means-without-consent-sex-2/

No comments:

Post a Comment