A chaste woman should not be greedy, but satisfied in all circumstances.
Srimad-Bhagavatam 7.11.28
We ladies are given the advice to curb our greed. What does that mean? It means not being lusty for material things and conditions other than the basic necessities of life. Of course, we may have desires for "things"--that is the nature of stri. Stri means "to expand," and stri means "woman." So we women naturally have a tendency to accumulate articles that are useful to us in our service. That is okay. But to accumulate more than necessary can be a catalyst of disorder in our household, and a source of anxiety to our husband, the provider. We are enjoined to "collect the household paraphernalia" (SB, 7.11.26-27) but also to follow the vow of the husband. So that means, we collect what we need for serving our husband and children, but not more. More than we need means more attachments, which means more clutter, which ultimately means more difficulty renouncing material acquisitions at the time of death.
Satisfaction is the other side of the coin. To be satisfied with what comes through the hard work of our husband means to have faith and trust in Krsna that He is fully aware of everything we need and want, and that He is providing everything we need and not necessarily everything we want. And we're okay with that. This kind of attitude is the source of great consolation and comfort to a husband who is, after all, trying his best with the psychophysical nature he has, as well as the current economic climate he has to work in, to provide for his family.
That being said, it is still a precious quality of men that they happen to love to satisfy the desires of their beloved wives. If you want something, go ahead and ask for it. In a girlish, trusting, surrendered way, acknowledging that whether he says yes or no, you will still love and trust him and be grateful for the things he does provide.
Be careful, though, to avoid asking for something that is beyond his means to provide for you. He is, after all, not obliged to provide things over and above life's necessities, except for jewelry. According to Srila Prabhupada, it is the duty of the husband to give his wife clothing, jewelry, and children. Clothing and children come under the heading of necessities, and jewelry should be worn for the pleasure of our husband. Of course it is also understood that he should provide a shelter and sufficient food. It is not okay to demand things from our husband beyond the necessities. We may WANT something more, something that is not really needed. It's okay to ask our husband to provide it for us if it's not going to cause him any undue stress, but we must be ready for any answer. If he chooses to say no, we should accept his decision without pouting or resenting his decision.
If the desire continues to remain in our heart for a long time and becomes too much of a disturbance to our peace of mind, if we just want it too badly and it is causing us too much distress not to have it, we can approach him again at some later time, humbly explaining that we have tried to give up the idea of having this thing, but that it is proving to be too difficult to live without it. "Because I depend on you for everything, there is no one else I can go to for the fulfillment of my desires. So would you kindly reconsider granting my wish?"
If he again says no, accept his answer as coming from Krsna. Pray to Krsna to help you get that desire out of your heart. If, on the other hand, he decides to fulfill your desire, then express your gratitude in a way that will give him the most pleasure. What I mean is, men are very attracted by women who mimic the joyful, exuberant antics of little girls. So don't be too shy to say "THANK YOU!!!" in an enthusiastic way, with a joyful smile, and maybe even with a great, big hug and kiss. If you jump up and down clapping your hands, he will probably love that, too. Give him a foot-massage as he is drifting off to sleep or bake him a pineapple-upside-down cake or whip up his favorite flavor of homemade ice cream. Let him know how much you appreciate his care, and that you are grateful for how he provides not only the basic necessities for you, but spoils you sometimes with extra-special things that you really, really want, beyond the bare necessities of life.
Be careful, though, to avoid asking for something that is beyond his means to provide for you. He is, after all, not obliged to provide things over and above life's necessities, except for jewelry. According to Srila Prabhupada, it is the duty of the husband to give his wife clothing, jewelry, and children. Clothing and children come under the heading of necessities, and jewelry should be worn for the pleasure of our husband. Of course it is also understood that he should provide a shelter and sufficient food. It is not okay to demand things from our husband beyond the necessities. We may WANT something more, something that is not really needed. It's okay to ask our husband to provide it for us if it's not going to cause him any undue stress, but we must be ready for any answer. If he chooses to say no, we should accept his decision without pouting or resenting his decision.
If the desire continues to remain in our heart for a long time and becomes too much of a disturbance to our peace of mind, if we just want it too badly and it is causing us too much distress not to have it, we can approach him again at some later time, humbly explaining that we have tried to give up the idea of having this thing, but that it is proving to be too difficult to live without it. "Because I depend on you for everything, there is no one else I can go to for the fulfillment of my desires. So would you kindly reconsider granting my wish?"
If he again says no, accept his answer as coming from Krsna. Pray to Krsna to help you get that desire out of your heart. If, on the other hand, he decides to fulfill your desire, then express your gratitude in a way that will give him the most pleasure. What I mean is, men are very attracted by women who mimic the joyful, exuberant antics of little girls. So don't be too shy to say "THANK YOU!!!" in an enthusiastic way, with a joyful smile, and maybe even with a great, big hug and kiss. If you jump up and down clapping your hands, he will probably love that, too. Give him a foot-massage as he is drifting off to sleep or bake him a pineapple-upside-down cake or whip up his favorite flavor of homemade ice cream. Let him know how much you appreciate his care, and that you are grateful for how he provides not only the basic necessities for you, but spoils you sometimes with extra-special things that you really, really want, beyond the bare necessities of life.
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