"She was a virgin girl...she had never offered her heart to anyone else.
Therefore Kardama Muni agreed
to accept the daughter of Sväyambhuva Manu."
(Bhag. 3.22.15 Purport)
Why does Srila Prabhupada say that no one will marry a woman who has been touched by another man? Because generally, at least in Vedic culture, every man who wants to get married looks for a woman who has not been polluted by another man. That’s natural. Therefore, it's best for girls and women to avoid the sticky business of pre-marital sex altogether and just save themselves for their husbands. As pointed out earlier, one way to ensure this is for fathers to do their duty and get their daughters betrothed early in life to suitable boys. (See"The Duty of the Father")
Another way is to educate girls before they come to the age of puberty so that they know:
1. What sexual intercourse entails
2. That sex is meant for producing babies
3. That if you get pregnant and have a baby before you are married, you are bringing immeasurable suffering upon yourself and your child, whether you keep the child or give him up for adoption
4. That in general, pubescent-and-older boys are interested in sex, and if a girl makes it known to a boy that she is lusty, it will be very difficult for her to keep herself chaste for her future husband.
5. That shyness is not only a beauty-enhancer, it is a protective mechanism created by God to keep girls safe and chaste for their husbands.
If girls are educated in this way, they can more effectively protect themselves from producing unwanted progeny and giving away their virginity before marriage.
The best solution, or rather, preventative measure, is to get girls married, or at least betrothed, while they are still young. This is not weird or impractical. It is intelligent and practical. By Vedic standards, girls need to be betrothed by their parents to their future husbands before they reach puberty so that:
(1) They can give their heart to and fix their mind on one boy and one boy only, and
(2) They can easily save themselves for their future husbands by bypassing the awkwardness of having to search for their own husbands (which can get them into trouble).
Discouraging girls from getting married before puberty puts them in the awkward predicament of having to tolerate burning sex desire for an unknown period of time. For a girl, that can be like being sentenced to solitary confinement in a pitch-dark dungeon for an indefinite number of years. Who can tolerate such a punishment? According to Srila Prabhupada, a girl who reaches puberty before being betrothed becomes "mortified" by not having a husband to fix her mind on. Mortified means humiliated, embarrassed. It comes from the Latin root word mors or mort- meaning "kill" or "death." I quote Srila Prabhupada: "The word anätha-vargä is very significant in this verse. Nätha means "husband," and a means "without." A young woman who has no husband is called anätha, meaning "one who is not protected." As soon as a woman attains the age of puberty, she immediately becomes very much agitated by sexual desire. It is therefore the duty of the father to get his daughter married before she attains puberty. Otherwise she will be very much mortified by not having a husband." (SB 4.25.42, Ppt)
According to Manu-smriti, girls whose fathers shirk their responsibility in this regard have scriptural permission to look for their own husbands. This can and does cause a serious dilemma for girls, though, because they don't always know what or who is good for them. Not only does she take the chance of choosing the wrong husband, but there is the very real danger that if a girl is out looking for a husband, she may be taken advantage of by an unscrupulous man and may become pregnant. The search on the part of the girl herself for her own husband can and often does result in pre-marital pregnancy, which must be avoided at all costs.
Therefore Kardama Muni agreed
to accept the daughter of Sväyambhuva Manu."
(Bhag. 3.22.15 Purport)
Why does Srila Prabhupada say that no one will marry a woman who has been touched by another man? Because generally, at least in Vedic culture, every man who wants to get married looks for a woman who has not been polluted by another man. That’s natural. Therefore, it's best for girls and women to avoid the sticky business of pre-marital sex altogether and just save themselves for their husbands. As pointed out earlier, one way to ensure this is for fathers to do their duty and get their daughters betrothed early in life to suitable boys. (See"The Duty of the Father")
Another way is to educate girls before they come to the age of puberty so that they know:
1. What sexual intercourse entails
2. That sex is meant for producing babies
3. That if you get pregnant and have a baby before you are married, you are bringing immeasurable suffering upon yourself and your child, whether you keep the child or give him up for adoption
4. That in general, pubescent-and-older boys are interested in sex, and if a girl makes it known to a boy that she is lusty, it will be very difficult for her to keep herself chaste for her future husband.
5. That shyness is not only a beauty-enhancer, it is a protective mechanism created by God to keep girls safe and chaste for their husbands.
The best solution, or rather, preventative measure, is to get girls married, or at least betrothed, while they are still young. This is not weird or impractical. It is intelligent and practical. By Vedic standards, girls need to be betrothed by their parents to their future husbands before they reach puberty so that:
(1) They can give their heart to and fix their mind on one boy and one boy only, and
(2) They can easily save themselves for their future husbands by bypassing the awkwardness of having to search for their own husbands (which can get them into trouble).
Discouraging girls from getting married before puberty puts them in the awkward predicament of having to tolerate burning sex desire for an unknown period of time. For a girl, that can be like being sentenced to solitary confinement in a pitch-dark dungeon for an indefinite number of years. Who can tolerate such a punishment? According to Srila Prabhupada, a girl who reaches puberty before being betrothed becomes "mortified" by not having a husband to fix her mind on. Mortified means humiliated, embarrassed. It comes from the Latin root word mors or mort- meaning "kill" or "death." I quote Srila Prabhupada: "The word anätha-vargä is very significant in this verse. Nätha means "husband," and a means "without." A young woman who has no husband is called anätha, meaning "one who is not protected." As soon as a woman attains the age of puberty, she immediately becomes very much agitated by sexual desire. It is therefore the duty of the father to get his daughter married before she attains puberty. Otherwise she will be very much mortified by not having a husband." (SB 4.25.42, Ppt)
According to Manu-smriti, girls whose fathers shirk their responsibility in this regard have scriptural permission to look for their own husbands. This can and does cause a serious dilemma for girls, though, because they don't always know what or who is good for them. Not only does she take the chance of choosing the wrong husband, but there is the very real danger that if a girl is out looking for a husband, she may be taken advantage of by an unscrupulous man and may become pregnant. The search on the part of the girl herself for her own husband can and often does result in pre-marital pregnancy, which must be avoided at all costs.
No comments:
Post a Comment