"Mataji, I don't love my husband. I have no feeling for him. What should I do?" A friend secretly revealed her mind to me recently. What should I say to her? I thought. What do you do if you just don't love your husband?
First of all, I told her, know that you are not alone. There are many couples in this world who for one reason or another just don't feel the flame of love for each other. If they once felt it, it's now gone, or at least greatly minimized.
But that's okay. That's common in this realm. After all, as Srila Prabhupada says, there actually is no real love in this material world because everyone wants to please his own senses. As long as we are in the bodily concept of life--meaning that we think we're the body, the bodily vehicle that we're riding around in--we cannot know what real love is because we're always trying to enjoy our bodily senses. That's not real love.
Real love means loving Krsna and wanting to please His senses. So what's the solution if you feel no love for your husband? If you don't love your husband, try to love Krsna more. Growing your love for Krsna will fill that empty space in your heart. Keep doing your wifely duties, but don't worry if you are not feeling love for your husband any more. Just do your duty for Krsna, and try to love Him. That will please Krsna. Krsna is like the root of the tree, and we are the leaves and branches. If you want the leaves and branches of a tree to be healthy, you water the root, right? So water the root. Try to please and satisfy Krsna by serving Him with love. That is called watering the root of the tree. When you try to lovingly serve Krsna, then you, your husband, your kids, and everyone else, will be satisfied, because Krsna will be satisfied.
My friend applied this instruction in her life and later wrote to me exclaiming that not only has her relationship with Krsna improved, but her relationship with her husband has taken on a whole new freshness and sweetness that they had never experienced before. All glories to watering the root!
First of all, I told her, know that you are not alone. There are many couples in this world who for one reason or another just don't feel the flame of love for each other. If they once felt it, it's now gone, or at least greatly minimized.
But that's okay. That's common in this realm. After all, as Srila Prabhupada says, there actually is no real love in this material world because everyone wants to please his own senses. As long as we are in the bodily concept of life--meaning that we think we're the body, the bodily vehicle that we're riding around in--we cannot know what real love is because we're always trying to enjoy our bodily senses. That's not real love.
Real love means loving Krsna and wanting to please His senses. So what's the solution if you feel no love for your husband? If you don't love your husband, try to love Krsna more. Growing your love for Krsna will fill that empty space in your heart. Keep doing your wifely duties, but don't worry if you are not feeling love for your husband any more. Just do your duty for Krsna, and try to love Him. That will please Krsna. Krsna is like the root of the tree, and we are the leaves and branches. If you want the leaves and branches of a tree to be healthy, you water the root, right? So water the root. Try to please and satisfy Krsna by serving Him with love. That is called watering the root of the tree. When you try to lovingly serve Krsna, then you, your husband, your kids, and everyone else, will be satisfied, because Krsna will be satisfied.
My friend applied this instruction in her life and later wrote to me exclaiming that not only has her relationship with Krsna improved, but her relationship with her husband has taken on a whole new freshness and sweetness that they had never experienced before. All glories to watering the root!
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