Chastity and Shyness

Dear Friends,

The following is an excerpt from one of Mother Devaki's recent diary entries.  I liked it so much I decided to share it with you here on my blog.  Devaki devi dasi conducts regular seminars in different locations around the world to help devotees understand Lord Sri Krsna's wonderful spiritual culture.  I have personally attended two of her seminars--Giving and Accepting Shelter and Women in Spiritual Culture--both of which I highly recommend.  If you would like to attend one or more of her seminars, you can find information here.

Chastity - what exactly does it

mean? These days we often have a very shallow and superficial understanding

of this most important quality, and since women in materialistic culture

don't aspire for it at all, the term is therefore almost lost and forgotten

today. I distinctly remember how I was preaching at a Sunday program many

years ago in Sydney, Australia, and I mentioned this term “chastity” to

some newcomers. One of the ladies exclaimed with a thousand question

marks written all over her face: "Chastity? What's THAT??"

Also in the German language the term chastity (Keuschheit) sounds like

something from the Middle Ages.

The two main tools for a woman to cultivate chastity are tolerance and

shyness. Unless a woman is tolerant, she will demand, complain, answer

back, get disturbed at the slightest provocation and inconvenience, and can

easily leave her husband and walk out. Tolerance is a most important

quality within spiritual practice. It is the main criterion in order to

measure a devotee's advancement and spiritual strength. Tolerance indicates

that the false ego is subdued and reduced. Prahlada Maharaja and Haridas

Thakur are always famous examples for the topmost level of tolerance. Also

Devahuti serves as a wonderful example of a wife following her husband in

utter tolerance and submission. And she received such outstanding rewards—

great opulences in the flying mansion which Kardama Muni created, and

finally giving birth to the Supreme Lord Himself! What more would a woman

desire?! She received those wonderful benedictions by paying the price of

serving her husband in tolerance and submission. The main tools for

cultivating tolerance however are humility and firm faith in Krsna. Unless

these two elements are there, it will be impossible for a person to be

tolerant.

Of course, in material life tolerance is not given any credit at all,

In fact, it is seen as weakness. Very often we hear people say: "I'm not

going to tolerate this. Who do you think I am....!?" and "How long should I

tolerate this nonsense?!" It is considered to be a sign of strength and

victory not to tolerate. However, within spiritual life the values are the

diametric opposite.

To perform tapasya is of greatest importance for spiritual progress--not

only for men, but also for ladies. There are many purports where Srila Prabhupada

describes the purifying effects of tapasya. All great personalities such as

Dhruva Maharaja, Lord Brahma, and the Pracetas, received great mercy and

empowerment by performing tapasya. For a woman, the field of tapasya is

within marriage and family life. This is her ksetra to engage in tapasya

and cultivate tolerance, and if she does so she will become spiritually

strong and very powerful.

The quality of shyness is also commonly misunderstood in a rather shallow

and superficial way. We often confuse shyness with mentalness and being on

the bodily platform. As a rule when a woman is "too shy" to say anything,

it is rather her being too self-conscious and on the mental platform,

fearing to make a fool out of herself. But this actually is not shyness.

In the purport to SB.1.9.27 Srila Prabhupada very nicely describes the quality

of shyness as follows: "As far as women class are concerned, they are

accepted as a power of inspiration for men. As such, women are more

powerful than men. Mighty Julius Caesar was controlled by a Cleopatra. Such

powerful women are controlled by shyness. Therefore, shyness is important

for women. Once this control valve is loosened women can create havoc in

society by adultery...."

The analogy of shyness being a control valve is simply excellent. And this

control valve is meant to keep the powerful feminine energy within and stop

it from bursting out into the world. Shyness means to resist the temptation

of enjoying the effects of one's powerful feminine energy--even on the

most subtle levels. It means a woman resists the temptation to show off.

This is shyness. And as Srila Prabhupada describes, once this control valve is

loosened, women can create havoc in human society. This is what is going on

in these modern days. Any woman can bewilder any man if she tries hard

enough; such is the power of the feminine energy. Therefore it has to be

controlled through shyness. Today women as a rule have lost this quality,

and shyness is rarely to be found, even within ISKCON.

In SB.1.10.16 Srila Prabhupada gives another detailed elaboration on the quality

of shyness: "Out of loving desire to see the Lord, the royal ladies of the

Kurus got up on the top of the palace, and smiling with affection and

shyness, they showered flowers upon the Lord."

Purport: “Shyness is a particular extra natural beauty of the fair sex, and

it commands respect from the opposite sex....This incident from the

Mahabharata period proves definitely that the ladies of the palace observed

strict parda (restricted association with men), and instead of coming down

in the open air where Lord Krsna and others were assembled, the ladies of

the palace went up on the top of the palace and from there paid their

respects to Lord Krsna by showers of flowers. It is definitely stated here

that the ladies were smiling there on the top of the palace, checked by

shyness.

This shyness is a gift of nature to the fair sex and it enhances their

beauty and prestige, even if they are of a less important family or even if

they are less attractive. We have practical experience of this fact. A

sweeper woman commanded the respect of many respected gentlemen simply by

manifesting a lady's shyness.

Half-naked ladies in the street do not command any respect, but a shy

sweeper's wife commands respect from all...shyness is a check to the

unrestricted mixing. It is nature's gift and it must be utilized."

As we know, men become very powerful when they resist the temptation to

enjoy the effects of their powerful energy of procreation on a gross level.

If they keep their semen within, they become very effulgent, with sharp

memory and intelligence, good health and vitality. Every serious sportsman

knows the glories of celibacy.

A similar principle is there for ladies, but on a more subtle level. If a lady

keeps her powerful energy within, she can use it on higher levels and thus

become spiritually very powerful and extraordinarily attractive, indeed

even fascinating. But when this feminine energy is wasted for sexual

attraction and sense enjoyment, even in a more subtle way such as showing

off her beautiful body, the control valve is loosened, which then can

create disturbances, and ultimately she becomes contaminated and

spiritually weak. However, when this powerful feminine energy is kept

within through the control valve of shyness, a woman can use it on higher

levels for spiritual practice, poetry, arts and music, and she will bring

about good fortune, fame, wealth and all auspiciousness. She will become

the auspicious source of energy to men--a minute representation of Laxmi

Devi, the Goddess of Fortune. And she will manifest a forever fascinating

womanhood for her husband.

These deep secrets to the extraordinary strength and beauty of a woman are

unfortunately lost and forgotten today--even amongst us ISKCON devotees.

Once we understand more deeply the importance of shyness, it becomes very

clear that a truly chaste woman would for example never even want to be in

the front of a harinam parade, showing off her feminine beauty. Such

practices, even for preaching purposes, make a subtle change to a woman's

consciousness by increasing the bodily identification, and thus

contaminate her. Therefore some leaders in ISKCON (for example in

Ukraine) have passed a national resolution that the ladies are not meant to

be in the front of the harinam procession but should go behind the men, protected

by a couple of grhastha men who walk right in the back behind them.

The same principle is upheld when a woman covers her head. It has a

subtle yet very powerful and transformational effect on her consciousness.

It helps her to cultivate shyness, humility and submissiveness--qualities

which are so important for any woman to cultivate in order to happily

progress in Krsna consciousness. Interestingly enough, in all spiritual

cultures we find that women are expected to cover their heads. In Ukraine a woman

cannot even enter a Russian Orthodox Church unless she covers her head with

something--at least a little handkerchief.

These days, we are deeply influenced and conditioned by materialistic

propaganda around us, which measures a woman's success by how attractive

her body is. This conditioning takes very subtle forms and easily

creeps into our spiritual practice.

Only when I started to preach in Bangladesh could I understand what Canakya

Pandit means when he says that the beauty of a woman is in her chastity.

Still today the Bangladeshi ladies have this quality of chastity deeply

ingrained in their hearts. It keeps the atmosphere within society very

pure, and makes the ladies almost a different species of women--with

extraordinary beauty and spiritual strength.