“Woman is not allowed to go to
school, college, or to the spiritual master.”
--Srila Prabhupada
My older brother had already been in school for a couple of years before talk of putting me in school began around the house. I wondered what “school” meant. I was mostly curious, a little apprehensive, but also a little excited.
When the time came for me to enter kindergarten, we moved from the home my father had built on South Dexter to an older, two-story house on Detroit Street. My brother Chris had been attending a public school in south Denver. But Mom was not satisfied. She wanted all of her children to attend Catholic school, just as she had. Now that, according to Western standards, I had also reached school-age, Mom and Dad decided to move so we could be near St. Philomena’s, the elementary school my Mom had attended as a child.
St. Phil’s had a good reputation and, like all the Catholic schools in Denver at that time, was well attended.
Although school itself was interesting to me because of the opportunities it presented for academics, associating with and playing with friends and learning and developing my musical and artistic talents, looking for my husband was my main interest.
At school, I found many boys to consider as possible marriage partners. I wondered if any of them was my husband-to-be. I observed each of them, thinking, “Is this my future husband? Is that my future husband?” Every boy I got to know who was either my age or older, I sized up as a possible marriage partner.
Although I was smart and did well in academics, because my main interest was to find my husband, a co-ed school setting was not the right place for me. I would have been better off staying at home and learning how to be a good wife. Not only that, the boys at school would have been spared the disturbing, psychic energy that I must have exuded as I sized them up as husband candidates. That’s why Srila Prabhupada said that girls should not go to school. They belong at home.
Although I was smart and did well in academics, because my main interest was to find my husband, a co-ed school setting was not the right place for me. I would have been better off staying at home and learning how to be a good wife. Not only that, the boys at school would have been spared the disturbing, psychic energy that I must have exuded as I sized them up as husband candidates. That’s why Srila Prabhupada said that girls should not go to school. They belong at home.
One of my adopted spiritual sons, Krishna Kirti dasa, has written a nice essay on this topic, which I have reproduced here in full:
On Women and Education
By Krishna Kirti Das
What is the big plan behind these regulative principles? The big plan is: here is the attraction, pumsah striya mithuni-bhavam—to cut down this attraction between male and female. This is the big plan. Otherwise there is no need of the varnasrama. Varnasrama means to train the candidates gradually to become free from this entanglement of man and woman. This is the basic principle.
Srila Prabhupada, Lecture SB 5.5.8, Vrndavana, 30 Oct. 1976
As with all things, education must have a purpose, and if we are to have a successful system of education, we must know its purpose. According to Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, the highest purpose of human life is prema pumartho mahan, to achieve love of Krishna. But it is a rare soul who can expect to immediately make rapid progress toward developing love for Krishna, which is why purification is necessary for people in general. Essential to purification is learning how to avoid the victimization of sex attraction, and it is sex attraction that the system of varnasrama-dharma aims to restrict. Unless one has controlled his, or her, sexual urges, it is all but impossible to make advancement in yoga. Controlling sexual desire throughout society must therefore be the primary goal of the varnasrama educational system.
In the varnasram system, men and women are trained differently to reach that goal. For men, celibacy is prescribed, and for women, chastity is prescribed. Celibacy is taught as a part of brahmacharya. From the age of five, a qualified boy must go away from his family to reside at the asrama of a guru, and from him be trained in celibacy along with other spiritual and material subjects for his future adult life. Women, however, must learn chastity not at a guru’s asrama but at home.
The most important reason for learning chastity at home is that the essence of chastity is devotion to the husband. As per the Bhagavatam, chastity is defined as follows:
In the varnasram system, men and women are trained differently to reach that goal. For men, celibacy is prescribed, and for women, chastity is prescribed. Celibacy is taught as a part of brahmacharya. From the age of five, a qualified boy must go away from his family to reside at the asrama of a guru, and from him be trained in celibacy along with other spiritual and material subjects for his future adult life. Women, however, must learn chastity not at a guru’s asrama but at home.
The most important reason for learning chastity at home is that the essence of chastity is devotion to the husband. As per the Bhagavatam, chastity is defined as follows:
To render service to the husband, to be always favorably disposed toward the husband, to be equally well disposed toward the husband's relatives and friends, and to follow the vows of the husband—these are the four principles to be followed by women described as chaste (7.11.25).
In order to learn chastity, it must be learned from someone who practices it, and that someone is almost always a girl’s mother. A girl learns chastity by assisting her mother and associating with her. If we with think a little about this arrangement, it soon becomes evident that all other possible arrangements would be inferior. How little sense it makes for a girl to reside somewhere else to learn chastity and thereby associate with and serve another woman, who is serving her husband, when one’s own mother is at home and herself a fit teacher.
Furthermore, as per the injunctions of Manu-smriti, women are always to be under the protection of a father, a husband, or a son. To reject that injunction is therefore to make sexual promiscuity a more likely occurrence within society at large. Indeed, at the beginning of the Bhagavad-gita, we find that a sexually promiscuous society is a society in which women no longer have this shelter. Such a society is rife with people who by nature create social disturbance and who are known by the term varnasankara.
In the varnasrama system, women are therefore trained in chastity at home, through the close association of their mothers and under the protection of their fathers. Although other educational opportunities may be available to women, they are always secondary objectives. As with celibacy, for boys who practice brahmacarya, these secondary educational pursuits should not be pursued at the expense of celibacy or chastity.
But then it may be asked that, in today’s modern society, in which women participate almost equally with men in the workforce, in academia, and in politics, and to some extent in some national militaries, would it not be irresponsible to not provide those same opportunities to young women born in devotional families—especially when they cannot always count on a decent men to always be there for protection?
The answer is that whether out of desire or necessity, women who avail themselves of modern educational opportunities similar to those of men generally end up being insufficiently restrained in their sexual behavior. As per Stanley Kurtz, a Harvard-trained anthropologist, it is impossible for women to participate in the modern workforce without using modern birth control.
Furthermore, as per the injunctions of Manu-smriti, women are always to be under the protection of a father, a husband, or a son. To reject that injunction is therefore to make sexual promiscuity a more likely occurrence within society at large. Indeed, at the beginning of the Bhagavad-gita, we find that a sexually promiscuous society is a society in which women no longer have this shelter. Such a society is rife with people who by nature create social disturbance and who are known by the term varnasankara.
In the varnasrama system, women are therefore trained in chastity at home, through the close association of their mothers and under the protection of their fathers. Although other educational opportunities may be available to women, they are always secondary objectives. As with celibacy, for boys who practice brahmacarya, these secondary educational pursuits should not be pursued at the expense of celibacy or chastity.
But then it may be asked that, in today’s modern society, in which women participate almost equally with men in the workforce, in academia, and in politics, and to some extent in some national militaries, would it not be irresponsible to not provide those same opportunities to young women born in devotional families—especially when they cannot always count on a decent men to always be there for protection?
The answer is that whether out of desire or necessity, women who avail themselves of modern educational opportunities similar to those of men generally end up being insufficiently restrained in their sexual behavior. As per Stanley Kurtz, a Harvard-trained anthropologist, it is impossible for women to participate in the modern workforce without using modern birth control.
In a modern, knowledge-based economy, women suffer no physical disadvantage. The ability of women to work in turn depends upon the capacity of modern contraception, along with abortion, to control fertility efficiently. The sheer breadth and rapidity of world fertility decline implies that contraceptive technology has been a necessary condition for that change.#
Indeed, according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, in the United States contraceptive use is “virtually universal among women of reproductive age,” with 99% of women between the ages of 15 and 44 reporting to have used a contraceptive method at least once in their lives.# And the statistics are similar for other technologically advanced countries.
These empirical observations, of course, show how correct the Vedic tradition has been on this matter all along. Gaining a higher education, at least according to its modern understanding, necessarily brings women in close contact with men. There must necessarily be close discussion and collaboration in matters such as homework or social interaction within and between attending classes. Especially in the more advanced academic topics, where there will always be a small number of students, it is impossible to separate students by sex. Just as fire will cause butter to melt, women in close association with men will make it more difficult for both men and women to be restrained in thought, word, and deed in matters of sex. And this, of course makes it virtually impossible for individuals in such a society to practice yoga—even bhakti-yoga—without being checked in spiritual progress by his, or her, own illicit sexual urges.
For those who remain anxious that their daughters not miss out on all the educational opportunities on offer in modern, secular society, it should always be remembered that sexual promiscuity and, of course, varnasankara, or unwanted population, are encouraged, not discouraged, by following the modern educational system. The goals of modern education are clearly at odds with the varnasrama goals of celibacy and chastity. Indeed, the pursuit of such an education is likely to damage one’s chances of making rapid progress as a yogi.
This is not to say that from this point onward devotional women should not participate in the secular educational system, for doing so at this point in the history of the world may be a necessity for many. Indeed, talents so acquired by women thus far should be utilized in Lord Krishna’s service. Nevertheless, it should be clear that the materialistic objectives of modern education are incompatible with the objectives of varnasrama education, and hence it is against everyone’s best interests to perpetuate the modern system of education. Even if we have received an advanced education by having been a part of that system, we should do whatever we can to make sure our sons and daughters are instead brought up with a first-class varnasrama education.
In the varnasrama system, becoming fit to practice yoga is the most important goal. And in order to help men and women in society achieve that goal, celibacy and chastity are among the most important codes of ethical behavior to instill in young men and women. Without sufficient sexual restraint, the practice of yoga will be virtually impossible. In order to achieve that goal, it will be necessary to create and participate in the different institutions charged with instilling those values. For boys, learning celibacy will be through the gurukula system, and for girls, learning chastity will be in the home alongside their mothers. Such an education is essential to the success of the varnasram system.
These empirical observations, of course, show how correct the Vedic tradition has been on this matter all along. Gaining a higher education, at least according to its modern understanding, necessarily brings women in close contact with men. There must necessarily be close discussion and collaboration in matters such as homework or social interaction within and between attending classes. Especially in the more advanced academic topics, where there will always be a small number of students, it is impossible to separate students by sex. Just as fire will cause butter to melt, women in close association with men will make it more difficult for both men and women to be restrained in thought, word, and deed in matters of sex. And this, of course makes it virtually impossible for individuals in such a society to practice yoga—even bhakti-yoga—without being checked in spiritual progress by his, or her, own illicit sexual urges.
For those who remain anxious that their daughters not miss out on all the educational opportunities on offer in modern, secular society, it should always be remembered that sexual promiscuity and, of course, varnasankara, or unwanted population, are encouraged, not discouraged, by following the modern educational system. The goals of modern education are clearly at odds with the varnasrama goals of celibacy and chastity. Indeed, the pursuit of such an education is likely to damage one’s chances of making rapid progress as a yogi.
This is not to say that from this point onward devotional women should not participate in the secular educational system, for doing so at this point in the history of the world may be a necessity for many. Indeed, talents so acquired by women thus far should be utilized in Lord Krishna’s service. Nevertheless, it should be clear that the materialistic objectives of modern education are incompatible with the objectives of varnasrama education, and hence it is against everyone’s best interests to perpetuate the modern system of education. Even if we have received an advanced education by having been a part of that system, we should do whatever we can to make sure our sons and daughters are instead brought up with a first-class varnasrama education.
In the varnasrama system, becoming fit to practice yoga is the most important goal. And in order to help men and women in society achieve that goal, celibacy and chastity are among the most important codes of ethical behavior to instill in young men and women. Without sufficient sexual restraint, the practice of yoga will be virtually impossible. In order to achieve that goal, it will be necessary to create and participate in the different institutions charged with instilling those values. For boys, learning celibacy will be through the gurukula system, and for girls, learning chastity will be in the home alongside their mothers. Such an education is essential to the success of the varnasram system.
Matrvat para-daresu. Canakya Pandita, the great politician, has given the definition of a learned scholar. Who is learned scholar? He has given the definition. What is this? Matrvat para-daresu. To see every woman except his wife as mother. This is education. This is education, perfection of education, when you can see all women except your wife as mother. This is education.
Srila Prabhupada, Lecture, BG 1.26 – 27. London, 21 Jul 1973.
(End of Krishna-Kirti's Essay)
By teaching boys and girls celibacy and chastity respectively, we ensure that both boys and girls will understand the purpose and importance of practicing varnasrama so that they use their human form of life to achieve pure Krsna consciousness. Thus we will be encouraging the likelihood that when our children reach marriageable age, because they already understand the purpose of life, they will also understand the purpose of marriage and have the necessary qualifications to maintain strong marriage vows for the pleasure and service of Krsna.
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