Forgiveness Exercise

Dear Friends,
This Forgiveness Exercise was designed and written by a dear friend of mine, Dr. Haripriya Dillon, who passed away recently.  In her honor, I am posting it here on my blog, with Haripriya Mataji's permission. 
Love,
Phalini

GET A NOTEBOOK AND WRITE THE FOLLOWING IN IT ON A DAILY BASIS

It may be from 2 minutes to two hours while you are in the process of healing.

1.         I  FORGIVE:   ______________ FOR __________________

WRITE DOWN EVERYTHING YOU CAN THINK OF ABOUT THE PERSON YOU ARE ANGRY WITH OR HAVE BEEN OFFENDED BY.  WHEN YOU HAVE EXHAUSTED ALL THE THINGS ABOUT THAT PERSON THAT HAVE DISTURBED YOU, YOU MAY THEN  WRITE ABOUT THAT SAME PERSON:

2.         I APPRECIATE:_____________FOR ____________________

AFTER YOU HAVE EXHAUSTED ALL THE THINGS ABOUT THAT SAME PERSON YOU APPRECIATE, YOU THEN WRITE:

3.         I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR:_______________________

AFTER YOU HAVE WRITTEN DOWN EVERYTHING YOU CAN FORGIVE YOURSELF FOR, YOU THEN WRITE:

4.         I APPRECIATE MYSELF FOR:_______________________

AFTER WRITING THE THINGS YOU APPRECIATE ABOUT YOURSELF,  YOU THEN WRITE:

5.          I LOVE AND APPRECIATE LORD SRI KRISHNA FOR:________________________

THINK OF ALL THE BLESSINGS AND GOOD THINGS IN YOUR LIFE AND LIST THEM THE BEST YOU CAN, IN GRATITUDE TO LORD SRI KRISHNA.

It is important to do this exercise daily in the beginning as you commit to being healed of your pain.  Keep this book to yourself until it is time to dispose of it.  After you have worked through the first person, you may then think of someone else whom you are angry with or disturbed by, and begin the same process over again.  If there is no one else you can think of, then quit for now.  Whenever someone “gets your goat,” this is the time to sit down and write.  Instead of resenting, hating, being angry and holding it in, write it out as directed above.                         

   I am seated in everyone's heart, and from Me come remembrance, knowledge and forgetfulness. 

                                                      ~Lord Sri Krishna, Bhagavad-gita 15.15  

Lord Sri Krishna, the Supreme Personality of Godhead, is the reservoir of all wonderful qualities, including the ability to forgive. It is stated in Srila Rupa Goswami's Bhakti-rasamrita Sindhu that one of Lord Krishna's qualities is forgiveness. In that section, Rupa Goswami describes the famous story of how Krishna was constantly tormented by Sisupala, his envious cousin, whenever they were together. Sisupala would incessantly throw insults at the Lord, calling Him bad names and saying mean things about Him that were not true. But Krishna tolerated all Sisupala's insults and did not retaliate.

Krsna is the most forgiving Person and we are part and parcel of Him. If someone has wronged us and we want to forgive that person, Krishna helps us to forgive. If we know that resentment is counter-productive to our happiness and we want to want to forgive, He helps us to want to forgive, then He helps us to forgive. We can't do anything without Krishna's help. We can't even be Krishna conscious without Krishna's help. So we can't forgive without Krishna's help. And if we work with Him to forgive, He will fill our heart with such satisfaction, peace and rewarding realizations that we will be inclined to come to Him again and again to ask for His help whenever we have trouble forgiving someone.

When you are finished writing in your “Forgiveness” notebook, have a ceremony in which you burn it.  While the notebook is burning, offer a prayer up to Lord Sri Krishna, the Lord of everyone's heart, asking Him to help you by allowing you to truly forgive.

Here's a sample prayer you can pray:

"My Dear Lord Krishna, You are the most forgiving Person. You are seated in everyone's heart as Paramatma. Dear Lord, if You so desire, please allow me to truly forgive!"  

You may say or write this or something similar at the end of each session. When you finish your forgiveness book, burn it and start another one.