Bamboos

Sometimes, even though we try to serve our husbands nicely with care and we try to always appreciate and encourage them, still we may suffer in our marital relationships. My husband and I call it "bamboos rubbing together" because in the bamboo forest, sometimes a fire takes place because of bamboos rubbing together. No one tries to start a fire, it just happens by the will of the Lord. Srila Prabhupada writes, "Another thing is davägni, forest fire, davägni. The bamboos, when they collide by air, there is heat. Electricity is generated, and the fire takes place. That is the cause of forest fire. Nobody goes to set fire in the forest...generally the forest fire takes place by this collision of the bamboos. So this world is like that. So this world, you may try to keep yourself very peaceful, silent, but there will be set fire automatically, the nature." (SB Lecture, 1.10.2, Mayapur, 17/6/73)  

I was just reading Bhagavatam and I found this nice explanation of how sometimes suffering happens by the grace of the Lord so that He can snatch us out of material relations and out of this material existence: "The Lord says 'I put My devotee into difficulty, and thus the devotee becomes more purified in exchanging transcendental bhäva with Me.' Placing the devotee into material troubles necessitates delivering him from the illusory material relations. The material relations are based on reciprocation of material enjoyment, which depends mainly on material resources. Therefore, when material resources are withdrawn by the Lord, the devotee is cent percent attracted toward the transcendental loving service of the Lord. Thus the Lord snatches the fallen soul from the mire of material existence. Tribulations offered by the Lord to His devotee are different from the tribulations resulting from vicious action. All these glories of the Lord are especially known to the great mahäjanas like Brahmä, Siva, Närada, Kapila, Kumära and Bhisma, as mentioned above, and one is able to grasp it by their grace." (SB 1.9.19 Ppt) So although we may try to do everything right in our marriage, sometimes by the will of Providence, our husband is taken away from us or some other calamity takes place. According to the passage above, this happens so that we will be put into difficulty and thus be able to become more purified and serious in our relationship with the Lord. 

Queen Kunti prays, "I wish that all those calamities would happen again and again so that we could see You again and again, for seeing You means that we will no longer see repeated births and deaths." (SB 1.8.25)  In the purport, Srila Prabhupada reminds us of the duty of human life. He comments, "The duty of the sane person, therefore, is to be undisturbed by worldly calamities, which are sure to happen in all circumstances. Suffering all sorts of unavoidable misfortunes, one should make progress in spiritual realization because that is the mission of human life." As long as we are trying our best to act in devotional service to the Lord, we are protected--"Abandon all varieties of religion and just surrender unto Me. I shall deliver you from all sinful reactions. Do not fear." (Bg 18.66)--but that does not mean we won't be inconvenienced and suffer. Such inconvenience and suffering are also the mercy of the Lord.