Speak Kindly

Srila Prabhupada has guided us women to train our daughters how to cook, clean, sew, and practice chastity and faithfulness to one's husband. 

But what about sweet words?

Sweet words, or gentle speech, is a quality of great wives. It is mentioned in the scriptures, but it is not explained well enough that we women can get clear guidance how to speak to our men. It's assumed that we are taught by our mothers, aunts and grandmothers how to speak encouragingly to our husband. But that is not always the case. That's why I promote the book Fascinating Womanhood by Helen Andelin to my lady friends, because the author gives detailed suggestions how to understand and speak to men so as to not drive them away, but rather to uplift them and help them become the best men they can be.

There is a couple I know who were brought up in the 90s and early 2000's. The husband is a hard-working, dedicated man who takes his position as provider and head of the household seriously. His wife treats him like her slave. She speaks condescendingly to him in front of others, orders him to do this and that, and acts as though she deserves to have him obey her at all times.

I am reminded of the ancient command that a wife should always speak kindly to her husband. 

If I felt free to speak my mind to that woman, I would advise her to: 

1. Regard her husband with utmost respect. 

2. Treat him like the most beloved, irreplaceable person in her life.

3. Speak to him as if she recognizes and accepts that he is entrusted with the duty to protect, provide for and guide her and her children.

4. Always be ready to serve him, make him comfortable, and assume that he is very much in need of rest and relaxation just as she is.

5. Pray for her husband. 

I would teach her not only how to follow the principles that are taught by Narada Muni in Srimad-Bhagavatam 7.11.25-29, but also to read Fascinating Womanhood. She could, I hope and pray, then have a better understanding how to ENcourage her husband rather than DIScourage him by her speech.