Marriage is an Austerity

My husband likes to study Srila Prabhupada's books and teachings and copy powerful quotes into notebooks. He copies them by hand, printing clearly. Some of the quotes he copies are single sentences, some are paragraphs, some are entire purports or even whole lectures. He often shares with me what he has written. Today, he read a wonderful quote to me that I felt was just what I needed to hear. The following is not an exact excerpt. It is an edited piece taken from a lecture that Srila Prabhupada gave in Montreal on August 24, 1968. The verse Srila Prabhupada spoke about in that lecture is Bhagavad-gita, Chapter 4, Text 1. At the point where my husband began reading to me, Srila Prabhupada had begun to accept questions. Someone had asked Srila Prabhupada why Lord Sri Krsna tells Arjuna that those who are not austere cannot understand Bhagavad-gita. Srila Prabhupada answers:

"It is concluded in the eighteenth chapter of Bhagavad-gita, 'sarva-guhyatamam: I am speaking to you.' 'Sarva' means 'all, every.' These devotees are giving up meat-eating, giving up all kinds of intoxicants including coffee and tea, and they are giving up illicit sex life. Do you think this is not tapasya? It is great tapasya, at least for this country. So idam te nätapaskäya. Without undergoing austerity, this science is difficult to understand. Therefore it is warned, idam te nätapaskäya.

"Sometimes people ask me, 'Swamiji, why do you make conditions?' My answer to them is, 'If I don't make conditions, they'll not be able to understand.' But I don't make conditions in the beginning. I invite everyone to come and chant Hare Krsna. Then they automatically accept all conditions. This Krsna consciousness is so nice, because those who take it up become purified. When they're a little bit purified, they immediately accept all conditions.

"A tapasvi voluntarily accepts some tapas, some inconvenience. So those who are not tapasvis, they cannot understand Bhagavad-gita. Suppose I am habituated to doing something sinful, like drinking liquor or eating meat. If someone takes away my liquor, my meat, that is an inconvenience to me. But if I decide voluntarily to stop my bad habit for Krsna's sake, thinking, 'Yes, for Krsna's sake I shall give up my bad habit. I shall accept this inconvenience,' then, because there is inconvenience for Krsna's sake, that is tapasya. Krsna states that only those who perform such tapasya can understand Bhagavad-gita.

"Just like Arjuna, it was very painful for him to think of killing his kinsmen, but for Krsna's sake he agreed. That is tapasya. He was not very happy to kill his grandfather and nephews, but for Krsna's sake, he accepted. That is tapasya. Some people cannot understand. They object, 'Arjuna was a fighter. How could he be a tapasvi?' Here is the answer: anything which you do not like, but for Krsna's sake you accept it, that is called tapasya, because the central point is Krsna. If you love Krsna, then you sacrifice for Him. Therefore, these devotees have sacrificed. The point is, that for Krsna's sake, they are voluntarily accepting inconveniences. That is tapasya. And as soon as you become tapasvi, your whole existential condition--your whole existence--becomes purified.

Srila Prabhupada was fond of quoting Lord Rsabhadeva, an incarnation of Krsna who gave pure knowledge of the Self to his sons. Srila Prabhupada quotes Srimad-Bhagavatam 5.5.1:

rsabha uväca
näyam deho deha-bhäjän nrloke
kastän kämän arhate vid-bhujäm ye
tapo divyam putrakä yena sattvam
suddhyed yasmäd brahma-saukhyam tv anantam

Lord Rsabhadeva told His sons: My dear boys, of all the living entities who have accepted material bodies in this world, one who has been awarded this human form should not work hard day and night simply for sense gratification, which is available even for dogs and hogs that eat stool. One should engage in penance and austerity to attain the divine position of devotional service. By such activity, one's heart is purified, and when one attains this position, he attains eternal, blissful life, which is transcendental to material happiness and which continues forever.

Srila Prabhupada explains:

In this verse Lord Rsabhadeva tells His sons about the importance of human life. The word deha-bhäk refers to anyone who accepts a material body, but the living entity who is awarded the human form must act differently from animals. Animals like dogs and hogs enjoy sense gratification by eating stool. After undergoing severe hardships all day, human beings are trying to enjoy themselves at night by eating, drinking, having sex and sleeping. At the same time, they have to properly defend themselves. However, this is not human civilization. Human life means voluntarily practicing suffering for the advancement of spiritual life. There is, of course, suffering in the lives of animals and plants, which are suffering due to their past misdeeds. However, human beings should voluntarily accept suffering in the form of austerities and penances in order to attain the divine life. After attaining the divine life, one can enjoy happiness eternally. After all, every living entity is trying to enjoy happiness, but as long as one is encaged in the material body, he has to suffer different kinds of misery. A higher sense is present in the human form. We should act according to superior advice in order to attain eternal happiness and go back to Godhead.

It is significant in this verse that the government and the natural guardian, the father, should educate subordinates and raise them to Krsna consciousness. Devoid of Krsna consciousness, every living being suffers in this cycle of birth and death perpetually. To relieve them from this bondage and enable them to become blissful and happy, bhakti-yoga should be taught. A foolish civilization neglects to teach people how to rise to the platform of bhakti-yoga. Without Krsna consciousness a person is no better than a hog or dog. The instructions of Rsabhadeva are very essential at the present moment. People are being educated and trained to work very hard for sense gratification, and there is no sublime aim in life. A man travels to earn his livelihood, leaving home early in the morning, catching a local train and being packed in a compartment. He has to stand for an hour or two in order to reach his place of business. Then again he takes a bus to get to the office. At the office he works hard from nine to five; then he takes two or three hours to return home. After eating, he has sex and goes to sleep. For all this hardship, his only happiness is a little sex. Yan maithunädi-grhamedhi-sukham hi tuccham [SB 7.9.45]. Rsabhadeva clearly states that human life is not meant for this kind of existence, which is enjoyed even by dogs and hogs. Indeed, dogs and hogs do not have to work so hard for sex. A human being should try to live in a different way and should not try to imitate dogs and hogs. The alternative is mentioned. Human life is meant for tapasya, austerity and penance. By tapasya, one can get out of the material clutches. When one is situated in Krsna consciousness, devotional service, his happiness is guaranteed eternally. By taking to bhakti-yoga, devotional service, one's existence is purified. The living entity is seeking happiness life after life, but he can make a solution to all his problems simply by practicing bhakti-yoga. Then he immediately becomes eligible to return home, back to Godhead. As confirmed in Bhagavad-gitä (4.9):

janma karma ca me divyam

evam yo vetti tattvatah

tyaktvä deham punar janma

naiti mäm eti so 'rjuna

"One who knows the transcendental nature of My appearance and activities does not, upon leaving the body, take his birth again in this material world, but attains My eternal abode, O Arjuna."

My husband commented after reading me the above passage, “Hey, Devi, it’s just like you and me. We struggle, we have differences, we have disagreements, there are things we don’t like about each other, but we tolerate each other’s idiosyncrasies for the service of Srila Prabhupada and Krsna. This is our tapasya.” I nodded in agreement and reflected how marriage is an austerity. It really is tapasya, and when we offer it to Krsna, it is one of the sacrifices we can perform in the human form of life for the pleasure of Lord Visnu. "In the beginning of creation, the Lord of all creatures sent forth generations of men and demigods, along with sacrifices for Visnu, and blessed them by saying, 'Be thou happy by this yajna [sacrifice] because its performance will bestow upon you everything desirable for living happily and achieving liberation.' " (Bg 3.10)

I smiled through my tears, grateful that although we have struggled as a couple--just as all successfully married couples struggle--we are nonetheless still together because we have made Krsna the central point of our marriage, and because we are both dedicated to pushing on the mission of our beloved Guru Maharaja, Srila Prabhupada.