Temporary Sentiment

Dear Readers, New devotees often come to my husband and me, asking us to coach them on how to deal with their parents who sometimes have prejudices against ISKCON or against the idea of their child or children becoming members of the Hare Krishna Movement. The following is a letter written by my husband to a devotee who is having trouble convincing his parents that by engaging in Krsna consciousness, their son is doing a good thing. The recipient's name has been edited out to protect his privacy.

Dear Prabhu,

Pranams. Jaya Srila Prabhupada. Hare Krishna.

I was told, very confidentially, by my wife Phalini devi, that your parents aren't happy about you being involved with ISKCON, or something to that effect. Please know that I will not mention anything to anyone else about your present situation. I am writing only to share with you some very meaningful statements by our Founder Acarya Srila Prabhupada in his books and lectures and also some strong words of wisdom from our parama gurus Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Thakura and Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakura. Krishna willing, hopefully some of these transcendental statements will benefit you mightily in your journey back to home, Back to Godhead. 

The paragraph below spoken by Srila Prabhupada is from the book The Quest For Enlightenment:

"So Krishna is canvassing, 'Surrender unto Me.' Those who are fortunate will accept this offer of Krishna's. And when we actually love Krishna, that is called priti. We love our beloved - our child or husband or wife - but that is not real love. That is a temporary sentiment. Actual love is possible only with Krishna. Once you love Krishna, that love cannot be broken at any time. Therefore, somehow or other we have to engage ourselves in loving Krishna. That is the success of life. Thank you very much."

Prabhu, as you know we have all had many, many countless lifetimes here in the material world chasing after sense gratification, but that has amounted only to "chewing the chewed." Maya simply cheats us over and over again by suggesting that "don't worry, this next plan I have for you will give you complete satisfaction" although, as we all know, of course, it doesn't. Maya sukhaya means "temporary pleasure." That is all any of us get from Maya, simply a little flickering happiness.

So Srila Prabhupada is pointing out that the temporary sentiment for family members is illusory, or you can say also "flickering." After all, how long can our relationship with our parents, or brothers and sisters, or aunties and uncles last? The answer is only for a few years, with a maximum of forty, or fifty, or sixty, maybe seventy years, then finished. All of our family members will be separated by cruel death. Who can deny? And this goes on lifetime, after lifetime, after lifetime, and is known as samsara. And we all forget our previous family members as soon as we leave our body, don't we? No one can remember the names of our previous family members, because all of them have been forgotten at death. Death means forgetfulness. 

So, Prabhu, please consider this: you had parents in your previous life that you likely had affection for and you have now forgotten them. Any reasonable person will understand that our current parents will also be forgotten at the time of our death. I trust that's clear. Therefore Srila Prabhupada describes the affection we have for our family members as a temporary sentiment, not real love. Real love is for Krishna, and that pure love is eternal. 

Here, Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Thakura quotes from SB 10.47.61: 

"The gopis of Vrndavana have given up the association of their husbands, sons, and other family members, who are very difficult to give up, and they have forsaken the path of chastity to take shelter of Mukunda, Krishna, which one should search for by Vedic knowledge. Oh, let me be fortunate enough to become one of the bushes, creepers, or herbs in Vrndavana, for the gopis trample them and bless them with the dust of their lotus feet." 

Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Thakura then states:

"The lotus feet of Mukunda are searched after by the personified Vedas and are the ultimate goal of Vedanta. Who is qualified to serve His lotus feet? Only those who have strength to give up the path of chastity and the association of their relatives, and who are not interested to give up dependence on Krishna by depending on their temporary relatives, are eligible to serve the lotus feet of Munkunda."

Prabhu, there are unlimited statements similar to the ones above indicating that Krishna is the central point of all existence. No one is greater than or equal to Krishna. Being His parts and parcels, we are designed to love and serve Him, although the choice is ours to make. 

Here is the final paragraph I will share with you at this time, which comes from the Krishna Book, Chapter 35, The Gopis' Feelings of Separation: 

"In Vrndavana, everyone and everything is attracted by Krishna, including the trees, the plants, the water, and animals like the deer and cows. That is the perfect description of Krishna's all attractiveness. The example of the gopis is very instructive to persons who are trying to be absorbed in Krishna consciousness. One can very easily associate with Krishna simply by remembering His transcendental pastimes. Everyone has a tendency to love someone. That Krishna should be the object of love is the central point of Krishna consciousness. By constantly chanting the Hare Krishna mantra and remembering the transcendental pastimes of Krishna, one can be fully in Krishna consciousness and thus make his life sublime and fruitful."

We should all be very cautious not to allow material family members who are inimical to Krishna consciousness to divert us from our activities in devotional service. It is always better for us to bring our material family members into Krishna consciousness rather than allowing them to bring us back into the service of Maya. We are all on the verge of returning back home, Back to Godhead, therefore we cannot afford to lose the great opportunity we have. 

Our Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakura so beautifully wrote in his poem "O Vaisnava Soul! the following last four lines:

So push thy onward march, O soul,

Against an evil deed, 

That stands with soldiers Hate and Lust--

A hero be, indeed. 

Maintain thy post in spirit world

As firmly as you can,

Let never matter push thee down--

O stand, heroic man.

O Saragrahi Vaisnava soul,

Thou art an angel fair;

Lead, lead me on to Vrindaban

And spirit's power declare. 

There rest my soul from matter free

Upon my Lover's arms--

Eternal peace and spirit's love

Are all my chanting charms.

param vijayate sri krishna sankirtanam

Yours in the service of Srila Prabhupada,

Haripada dasa (ACBSP)

P.S. "The association of children, wife, relatives and friends is just like the brief meeting of travelers. With each change of body, one is separated from all such associates, just as one loses the objects one possesses in a dream when the dream is over." (SB 11.17.53, Lord Krsna instructs Uddhava)