The other day, someone asked me the name of my husband. I told her, "I don't speak his name aloud." She smiled and commented, "That is the Vedic way." Instead of saying his name out loud to her, I instead showed her his name written on paper.
Some time ago, I had a conversation with some friends about the subject of wives speaking their husbands' names to others. Srila Prabhupada points out that it is improper for a wife to address her husband by his name. "According to the Vedic civilization, a wife cannot call her husband by name. In the present civilization the wife calls her husband by name, but in Hindu civilization she does not." (SB 3.23.2 Ppt) Srila Prabhupada points out that this practice of refraining from calling one's husband by his name and instead using honorifics to address him helps to maintain the respect which is necessary between husband and wife.
Even further, it is common knowledge among many ladies in India that a chaste wife not only refrains from addressing her husband by name, but she also does not speak her husband's name to others. In CC Antya-lila 7.104 it is stated, "It is the duty of a chaste wife, devoted to her husband, not to utter her husband's name." Also: “In civilized society it is normally considered disrespectful to publicly speak the name of one’s… husband.” (Srila Jiva Gosvämi, quoted in SB 10.83.15–16, purport.)
So how to address one's husband? A chaste wife can call her husband by honorifics such as "Prabhu" or "Pati" or "Swami." Sometimes in India, a woman will call her husband "arya" (honorable man) or "arya-putra" (son of an honorable man). Using a respectful title when addressing her husband will help her to remember that her husband is her pati-guru (protector-teacher), and it will also help him remember that he is to accept and maintain that role of leadership in relation to his wife.
And how to tell her husband's name to others? She can fix a prior agreement with her husband that if and when they are together, if they are introduced to someone, the wife can say her name and then look to her husband to say his own name. If her husband is not present and someone asks her his name, if she likes, she can write her husband's name on a piece of paper and show it to the person so he/she can read his name instead of hearing it from the wife. Better yet would be a business card with her husband's name on it so that it's readily available to show people without having to write it down.
Some time ago, I had a conversation with some friends about the subject of wives speaking their husbands' names to others. Srila Prabhupada points out that it is improper for a wife to address her husband by his name. "According to the Vedic civilization, a wife cannot call her husband by name. In the present civilization the wife calls her husband by name, but in Hindu civilization she does not." (SB 3.23.2 Ppt) Srila Prabhupada points out that this practice of refraining from calling one's husband by his name and instead using honorifics to address him helps to maintain the respect which is necessary between husband and wife.
Even further, it is common knowledge among many ladies in India that a chaste wife not only refrains from addressing her husband by name, but she also does not speak her husband's name to others. In CC Antya-lila 7.104 it is stated, "It is the duty of a chaste wife, devoted to her husband, not to utter her husband's name." Also: “In civilized society it is normally considered disrespectful to publicly speak the name of one’s… husband.” (Srila Jiva Gosvämi, quoted in SB 10.83.15–16, purport.)
So how to address one's husband? A chaste wife can call her husband by honorifics such as "Prabhu" or "Pati" or "Swami." Sometimes in India, a woman will call her husband "arya" (honorable man) or "arya-putra" (son of an honorable man). Using a respectful title when addressing her husband will help her to remember that her husband is her pati-guru (protector-teacher), and it will also help him remember that he is to accept and maintain that role of leadership in relation to his wife.
And how to tell her husband's name to others? She can fix a prior agreement with her husband that if and when they are together, if they are introduced to someone, the wife can say her name and then look to her husband to say his own name. If her husband is not present and someone asks her his name, if she likes, she can write her husband's name on a piece of paper and show it to the person so he/she can read his name instead of hearing it from the wife. Better yet would be a business card with her husband's name on it so that it's readily available to show people without having to write it down.
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