Keep Your Heart Soft

When you're depressed and down, think about something or someone you love and your spirits will gradually lift until you begin to feel happy.  

Yesterday, I was feeling down.  I had been sick for several days and couldn't do my normal duties.  My japa was half-hearted, my Deities were neglected and every day for the last week, I have barely been able to finish sixteen rounds, what to speak of cook, clean, do laundry or take care of my Deities and my family.  My hair was dirty and I looked like death warmed-over.  I even snapped at my husband yesterday, which is rare.  My spirits were sinking lower and lower until I realized that I needed to do something about the state of my consciousness and my overall mood.  I was desperate.  

I forced myself to think of something--SomeONE--positive.  I thought about my favorite Deities: Sita-Rama-Laksmana-Hanuman at Juhu Temple.  I thought about Lord Jagannatha on His Ratha in Salem and Bangalore Ratha-yatras.  I remembered how tasty the kirtans were during our travels in India.  I remembered the lovely devotees I have had the privilege of associating with.  Slowly, I noticed my spirits lifting.  I kept thinking about my favorite Deities and about Lord Jagannatha's Ratha-yatra until I went to sleep last night.  

When I woke up this morning, there was no more depression and I actually felt better, not only emotionally, but physically, too!  My japa was more serious and sincere, I re-connected with the Bhagavatam like a person dying of thirst, I was able to do my duties enthusiastically during the day, and tonight I read the Ramayana for the first time in way too long.  My overall mood was happier and my heart felt softer.  

This experience reminded me of a piece of advice that was given to me over thirty years ago by a good friend.  She told me to do whatever I needed to do to always keep my heart soft.  Simple advice, right?  So that's what I did yesterday.  I dug deep under the layers of muck and found Someone I love, and that Someone lifted me out of the depths of depression and put me back on track.  Thinking about the Person I love the most made my heart soft and happy, and brought light and joy back into my life.

Krsna does not want us to be depressed.  He wants us to be happy.  He knows that for us to be happy, we need to serve Him, and He also knows that we are completely dependent on Him even to the extent that we can't serve Him without being permitted and empowered to serve Him.  In order to even execute our service to the Lord, we have to take shelter of Him and ask for His help.  Krsna is always there waiting for us to take shelter of Him.  We can take shelter of Krsna by remembering Him, by chanting His holy names, by reading His transcendental words, and by praying to Him. 

There's a principle called "bibliomancy" which is something I experienced today.  Here's how it works.  If you have a question or a problem you're dealing with, you open a holy book and right in front of your eyes, there's the answer you were looking for!  Here's what I read in the Bhagavatam this morning: "The Supreme Personality of Godhead then said: O Brahmä, O depth of Vedic wisdom, be neither depressed [emphasis mine] nor anxious about the execution of creation. What you are begging from Me has already been granted before."  Srila Prabhupada writes in the purport: "Any person authorized by either the Lord or by His bona fide representative is already blessed, as is the work entrusted to him.  Of course, the person entrusted with such a responsibility should always be aware of his incapability and must always look for the mercy of the Lord for the successful execution of his duty.  One should not be puffed up because he is entrusted with certain executive work.  Fortunate is he who is so entrusted, and if he is always fixed in the sense of being subordinate to the will of the Supreme, he is sure to come out successful in the discharge of his work.  Arjuna was entrusted with the work of fighting on the Battlefield of Kuruksetra, and before he was so entrusted, the Lord had already arranged for his victory.  But Arjuna was always conscious of his position as subordinate to the Lord, and thus he accepted Him as the supreme guide in his responsibility.  Anyone who takes pride in doing responsible work but does not give credit to the Supreme Lord is certainly falsely proud and cannot execute anything nicely.  Brahmä and persons in the line of his disciplic succession who follow in his footsteps are always successful in the discharge of loving transcendental service to the Supreme Lord." (SB 3.9.29)

I learned a good lesson yesterday.  I was depressed because I couldn't do my duties nicely due to the fact that my body was sick, and this had hardened my heart.  I decided to take shelter of the Lord by remembering Him, and by His grace, I was gradually uplifted so that I could resume the execution of my duties and feel soft-hearted again.  I realized that I am totally dependent on the Lord for the permission and the power to serve Him, and when I take shelter of Him, He makes me feel happy.  Jai Sri Sri Sita-Rama!  Jai Sri Jagannatha!